Words Are Never Enough

When I was almost 37, a miracle happened: I became a mom for the first time. This monumental event in my life was one that didn’t come easily. I suffered two miscarriages, endured many struggles and cried many tears. But one day, my prayers were finally answered. My long-time dream of becoming a mom was made possible by one woman – once a complete stranger – my daughter’s birth mom.

Through the years, I’ve thought of her often. One of the biggest questions always on my mind was: How could I ever possibly thank her or repay her? After our daughter was born, we gave her birth mom a special gift: a locket with a baby photo inside. We thanked her. We hugged at the hospital. We sent her pictures of our daughter as she grew, and we exchanged a couple of letters. But no matter what we said or did, it just never seemed like enough.

How do you ever thank the person who is responsible for bringing your child into this world? What do you say to someone who has made the ultimate act of selfless love? Words just aren’t strong enough or adequate enough to fully express the depth of our gratitude. But today I will attempt to say what every adoptive parent longs to tell their child’s birth mom. I will do my best to put into words what is in my heart.

To my daughter’s birth mom and all of the birth mothers out there: Thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart. Your path was no doubt a painful and difficult one. I cannot imagine making the enormous sacrifice you did – to trust a stranger to love and raise your child. But please know what an amazing and wonderful difference you’ve made in someone else’s life. Because of you, a woman who longed to be a mother, was given the opportunity – despite the odds against her. I admire your strength and courage to recognize you were unable to raise a child at that point in your life and to make an adoption plan. Thank you for putting your child’s needs before your own and for loving her so much that you wanted the best possible life for her. We feel so blessed, and will never forget how special you are and what you have done for us and for our precious child. My life – and the lives of so many women – have been profoundly changed forever because of the thousands of birth mothers who chose adoption.

We will always think of our daughter’s birth mom as a brave, kind, loving and strong woman. She is truly an angel and will be in our hearts always. She has given a part of herself to us. And although words will never be enough to thank her, I will do the only thing I know how to do. I promise to always love and care for my daughter to the very best of my ability. I will do everything in my power to keep her healthy, happy and safe. And I will always remind her of how much her birth mom loves her. After all, being a mom is not just about biology or parenting; it’s about love.