There was a time when, as women, we respected ourselves enough not to give our goods away for the promise of a go to buddy when we felt lonely. Now a days it's all about the act of making love, but the truth is, it isn't love or even like for that matter. Our morality is crashing down around us and we are the decay in the foundation of said morality. I suppose if we don't care about our own reputations, at the very least we should care about our daughters. We are inadvertently dragging them down to the depths of dismal self-respect with us as we partake in the forbidden fruit...friends with benefits and the like.
As a woman who did the online dating thing for four years and wrote a book about it the subject no longer shocks me, but it does sadden me. If even as adults we don't know better...how do we expect our children to? If we don't have the capacity to claim respect for ourselves, we certainly won't be teaching them how to.
Sex is a big deal and it needs to be treated as such; not just by our teenagers, but by ourselves. We need to talk to our children! Step up and stop waiting for someone else to do it...someone else isn't vested in your children...but you should be! Why are we letting our kids make these kinds of monumental decisions for themselves? We give them the tools to take advantage of sexual situations by allowing them to go to their rooms with the opposite sex, stay out till all hours of the night and not tell us where they're going. We need numbers, destination addresses and parental partnerships where you actually know the name and have met your daughter or sons friends mother/father.
Sex has always been a lure from one generation to the next be it from peer pressure or merely curiosity, but you don't have to make it so easy to achieve for them. We just need to slow our days down, pay attention, talk and realize that respect doesn't change from one generation to the next...at least it shouldn't! It's okay to go against the grain of the "toleration" generation and just say no!
Realize that what you do in your own life, especially if you are divorced and dating does have an affect on the way your child experiences the world and what they will deem as acceptable behavior. You don't have to have sex to snag someone special, in fact, if you wait it turns out to be much more rewarding and honest in the end...I speak from experience. It may seem condescending to give a reminder to adults that should have and may have been given this same reminder years ago, but it's warranted because we've forgotten. Even as adults, we seem to be confused about our roles in the world so I'm here to tell you it's still okay to say no! I realize we live in a quick gratification society, but I promise you there is nothing gratifying about being used. Besides, sex and quick should never be used in the same sentence...just sayin.
Let's get back to basics for ourselves and our children. Being able to admit that you've been doing it wrong and demanding respect for yourself rather than a one-night stand is what makes you an adult and being able to demand it from and for your children is what makes you an exceptional parent.
Be part of the back to basics trend and button up!
To read my last blog about the female dress code, .