Somewhere a long the lines women lost sight of dress code etiquette when trying to entice the male species. Sadly, today it starts at a much younger age. I haven't decided if that's because the divorce rate is so high and so many of us middle agers are out there dressed to kill...your reputation that is.
There is an inappropriateness to our dating dress code and we've seemed to have made it a trend. Not always by dressing that way ourselves. Sometimes it's simply by allowing our daughters to dress that way. Are they imitating us? Or are we imitating them? Either way it's the wrong message!
What ever happened to "leave a little to the imagination," or "why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?" Yes they are old fashioned, but sometimes old fashioned is a good thing! For instance grandmas chicken soup for that common cold. We need to get back to the basics again both in our own wardrobe and those we are passing our feminine torches to...our daughters.
There is nothing more unappealing than a forty-something (keep in mind I'm a forty-something) sitting at a bar with her boobs on display. It wreaks of desperation ladies. Now before someone goes postal on me for my views, know that I always speak from experience. In other words, there was a time or two when it was my boobs at the bar...before I thought better of it.
There is equally nothing more unappealing than the 15 year old dressed for homecoming in a skirt short enough to display her...eh em...daisy. For God sake...if she bends over the whole world will know her business.
We are collectively sending a message and not so subtly I might add. I wonder if it is really our intentions to sink that low and why we feel like we have to? I'm not suggesting that we put a penny between our knees when we sit down with our dates or during school. Nor am I talking turtlenecks in July. However, keeping the parts protected for a little while...you'll find...will give you more power than you know. And should you snag the bachelor you've been eyeballing...what a prize he will have waiting for him when you are ready!
Dare to be different! Start the back to basics trend!
Sincerely,
I couldn't agree more! Shame on the makers of the kiddie clothes, but shame on the parents that purchase them more!
It’s possible, but not easy, to find attractive and modest dresses for dances. You would think that supply and demand would naturally create a market. Unfortunately, peer pressure is powerful and there is not enough demand for modest clothing. Parents can do at least two things to push back: Network with other parents and patronize stores that sell modest clothes (there are some). Avoid stores like Abercrombie and Fitch that deliberately push early sexualization and ignore the complaints of customers, “We don’t care what you think.”
This country needs to hit the reset button as far as morality is concerned. The problem is far deeper than clothes.
Also, parents need to go shopping with their children. Go to any mall and you'll see scores of children walking around unsupervised, mostly in and out of the stores which do, as you said, push early sexualization. It's time parents get over being "cool" and go with their kids into the stores and wield the veto power that being a parent comes with. Simply being in the same mall doesn't count, you need to be in the store giving the yay or nay to everything they try on. No, your kids won't like it, but if they turn out decent they'll thank you later.
Dr. Spock did a whole generation of permissive parents a disservice. Child-centered parenting can produce adolescent adults. Dr. James Dobson with books like Dare to Discipline is much better, in my opinion. I think we also need to restigmatize swearing. That’s something most Americans can agree on. That’s on my list of articles to write someday. Keep up the good work!
feminism has disintegrated society's moral fabric??!! Really?
I couldn't agree more! I'm hoping this article continues to attract attention and positive feedback as well as the others I post. I think too many times we are willing to let things go in response to "tolerance" and quite frankly I have no tolerance for the direction we are heading in with our children. As far as grown women not getting the big picture on ladylike etiquette...well I can only hope they read the article and question their choices.
My views on feminism are as follows. I think that feminism or the woman's lib movements have done some good things for women. I also believe that just like a lot of things in the twenty-first century it can be taken too far on many occasions and as a woman I find it rather irritating. There are some things that men do better than women...shocking. On the other hand there are some things that women do better than men. I don't believe girls should play on the boys football team either...omg I'm a traitor! That doesn't mean I don't think woman shouldn't play football, it means i think they should have their own darn team! Everything isn't equal and trying to make it so is just awkward...just my opinion and you know what they say about those.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1274798-2012-olympics-holley-sister-of-nfl-center-making-name-for-herself Needless to say, if you grew up with brothers, they made you a lttle tougher.
"That doesn't mean I don't think woman shouldn't play football, it means i think they should have their own darn team!" I'm not suggesting she wasn't good enough to compete or to play overall...I'm merely suggesting women have their own leagues. Thank you for your comment and link. P.S. I grew up with brothers and although I don't play football...I'd like to think I'm pretty darn tough...for a girl ;)
I realize what you said.There will always be people in this world that do not fit in to any mold, square peg, round hole That being said, I try not to pigeon hole anyone. Some are a little more outrageous.Now , back on topic. Usually when with a friend, when we were younger, if they were wearing something a little too revealing I would just introduce my friend as. Hi, this is Karen and these are her breasts. Sorry about using your name. But you get my point.We all need to help each other a bit sometimes. Have a great day:)
Once a month I take my daughter on a daddy/daughter date. By doing this I am teaching her that she is a princess - and a princess never opens her own door. The other day I forgot to get her door and she just stood there and cleared her throat and directed my attention to the fact that she was waiting... I think the little bugger was actually tapping her foot at me. ;-) I am teaching her that if a gentleman takes her to dinner but calls it a "dutch treat" then she should allow some other young lady the pleasure of his company. I am teaching her that if a gentleman tells her that he "loves her" yet pressures her for premarital attention then he does not really. I am teaching her that love is sacrificial and if the young man that would woe her heart does not sacrifice himself for his mother then he is not likely going to sacrifice himself for her either. Yes, I know that my teachings are gross over simplifications but I would have her throw one back that was a keeper than keep one that should have been thrown back. And Yes, some people may say that I am doing some damage to my daughter but I figure that the college-fund will double for a therapy-fund in a heart beat and I don't want to have use it for a Baby's Room. ;-) I used to sub-teach in the mid-2000's and I was not impressed with the thongs that 6th grade girls insisted in displaying - Thanks for the article.
I am sorry that I never saw this to respond. I can only say kudos to you for doing what you are supposed to do as her father! When we decide to have children, it is an unwritten contract to protect, love and teach them...too many parents today don't take the time...you are exceptional! Sincerely,